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114
The learned judge has become irritated at the linguistic duplicity of counsel, and the way in which they
use archaic words to camouflage what is at bottom, an insult.
Writing in the current edition of the quarterly legal journal «Counsel», a learned magazine read by upper
echelons of the legal profession, the judge tells about barristers who preface a statement to him with the phrase
«With respect». What that really means, says the judge, is «you are wrong».
A statement prefaced with the words «With great respect» means «you are utterly wrong». And if a
barrister produces the ultimate weapon of «With utmost respect» he is really saying to the court, «Send for the
men in white coats».
The judge wants more plain English used in courts, and less of the legal language of the obscure past, some
of which he says has been «obsolete» in ordinary speech almost since the Bible.
Words like «humbly» and «respectfully» are not only unnecessary in written legal documents, they are
generally untruthful in oral argument, says the judge with utmost respect.
Judges themselves are, of course, not entirely free of guilt in the matter of exchanges which are not very
understandable.
As the courtroom clock moves towards 1 pm, counsel might say: «It might be of value to your Lordship if
I were to inform you at this juncture that I have several more questions to ask of to this witness which would
take some little while». The judge will reply: «This seems a useful time to adjourn». What they really mean is
lunch.
17.6.3. Answer the questions in 17.6.1. (Books closed.)
17.7. Listening practice
17.7.1. Look at the following questions. You'll have to answer them after reading the text.
1. When did they have school?
2. When did Herbert Berk become politician?
3. What is James Steven?
4. Where is he now?
5. What did Charlie Philipps give to Mary Foot when they left school?
6. When did they get married?
7. Where did they move to?
17.7.2. Listen to the story.
17.7.3. Answer the questions in 17.7.1.
17.7.4. Look through the list of words. They will help you to understand the text. twin — близнец
diverge — отличаться adolescence — юность adulthood — взрослость strive — бороться compliment
— дополнять clash — сталкивать sheer — простой deliberately — специально quirk — причуда
17.7.5. Listen to the story. Be ready to give the contents of it.
17.7.6. Tell the contents of the story as close to the text as possible.
17.8. Time for fun
17.8.1. Read and translate the following joke:
The excessive bill
Once a man received an exorbitant bill for legal services. He considered the amount excessive, so he went
right to the lawyer's office. The conversation went like this:
Client: Is this really my bill?
Lawyer: Isn't this your name on the bill?
C.: Yes.
L.: Who handled it?
C.: One of your secretaries. The tall one with blonde hair and...
L.: Yes, yes. Miss Thompson. She's very accurate. There's no doubt that the bill is correct.
C.: But this is too much for the service I received from
your office. I didn't even have the professional
services of a real lawyer.
L.: That doesn't have anything to do with it. Here the charge is the same, whether I do the work personally
or a secretary takes care of a routine matter such as yours.
C.: But... but it's too much!
L.: Sir, you take care of your business and I'll take care of mine!
C.: Obviously you don't know who I am!
L.: And who are you, sir?
C.: Now I understand this exorbitant bill.