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56
'After all,' the dark woman resumed her conversation, 'how would it look if she was there when I turned
up?'
6
Her friend shook her head slowly from side to side and ended with a quick nod.
Should she have got such a small size salad cream? Jean wasn't sure. She was sick of throwing away half-
used bottles of stuff.
'He came back to you after all,' the blonde woman suddenly said. Jean looked up quickly and immediately
felt her cheeks flush. She bent over and began to rearrange the items in her shopping basket.
'On his hands and knees,' the dark woman spoke in a triumphant voice. 'Begged me take him back.'
She gritted her teeth together. Should she go and change it for a larger size? Jean looked behind and saw
that she was hemmed in by three large trollies. She'd lose her place in the queue. There was something so
pitiful about buying small sizes of everything. It was as though everyone knew.
'You can always tell a person by their shopping,'
7
was one of her mother's favourite maxims. She looked
into her shopping basket:
individual fruit pies, small salad cream, yoghurt, tomatoes, cat food and a chicken
quarter.
The cashier suddenly said, 'Make it out to J. Sainsbury PLC.' She was addressing a man who had been
poised and waiting to write out a cheque for a few moments. His wife was loading what looked
like a gross
offish fingers
8
into a cardboard box marked "Whiskas". It was called a division of labour.
Jean looked again at her basket and began to feel the familiar feeling of regret that visited her from time
to time. Hemmed in between family-size cartons of cornflakes and giant packets of washing-powder, her
individual yoghurt seemed to say it all.
9
She looked up towards a plastic bookstand which stood beside the
till. A slim glossy hardback caught her eye. The words Cooking for One screamed out from the front cover.
Think of all the oriental foods you can get into,
10
her friend had said. He was so traditional after all. Nodding
in agreement with her thoughts Jean found herself eye to eye with the blonde woman, who gave her a blank,
hard look and handed her what looked like a black plastic ruler with the words "Next customer please"
printed on it in bold letters. She turned back to her friend. Jean put the ruler down on the conveyor belt.
11
She thought about their shopping trips, before, when they were together. All that rushing round, he
pushing the trolley dejectedly, she firing questions at him. Salmon? Toilet rolls? Coffee? Peas? She
remembered he only liked the processed kind.
12
It was all such a performance. Standing there holding her
wire basket, embarrassed by its very emptiness, was like something out of a soap opera.
'Of course, we've had our ups and downs,
13
' the dark woman continued, lazily passing a few items down
to her friend.
Jean began to load her food on to the conveyor belt. She picked up the cookery book and felt the
frustrations of indecision. It was only ninety pence but it seemed to define everything, to pinpoint her
aloneness, to prescribe an empty future. She put it back in its place.
'So that's why I couldn't have her there you see,' the dark woman was summing up. The friends exchanged
knowing expressions and the blonde woman got her purse out of a neat leather bag. She peeled off three ten
pound notes and handed them to the cashier.
Jean opened her carrier bag ready for her shopping. She turned to watch the two women as they walked
off, the blonde pushing the trolley and the other seemingly carrying on with her story.
The cashier was looking expectantly at her and Jean realized that she had totalled up. It was four pounds
and eighty-seven pence. She had the right money, it just meant sorting her change out. She had an
inclination that the people behind her were becoming impatient. She noticed their stack of items all lined and
waiting, it seemed, for starters orders.
14
Brown bread and peppers, olive oil and, in the centre, a packet of
beefburgers.
She gave over her money and picked up her carrier bag. She felt a sense of relief to be away from the
mass of people. She felt out of place.
15
Walking out of the door she wondered what she might have for tea. Possibly chicken, she thought, with
salad. Walking towards her car she thought that she should have bought the cookery book after all. She
suddenly felt much better in the fresh air. She'd buy it next week. And in future she'd buy a large salad
cream. After all, what if people came round unexpectedly?
Proper Names
Anne Cassidy ['
n 'k
s
d
] — Энн Кэссиди
Jean [
i:n] — Джин
J. Sainsbury PLC ['
e
'se
nsb
r
'pi: 'el 'si:] — компания Джей Сэйнсбери (прим.: PLC — Privately
Licensed Company — частная лицензированная компания)
Whiskas ['w
sk
s] — Вискас (Прим.: корм для кошек)